burned my hand curling my hair today
the nerve of you lookin this good
Spooky fact: there is at least one living skeleton in your house
right now and it is VERY close. GET OUT OF THERE
I SAID RUN NOT HAVE SEX WITH IT
i did NOT have sexual relations with that skeleton
11 ways to solve rape better than nail polish
The more we depend on women to prevent rape, the easier it is to blame them when it happens to them. Here’s a look at the well-documented ways we can actually stop rape. Maybe it’s time we invest a little more time and resources into implementing them before we send gallons of nail polish to colleges across the country.
Read the full list | Follow micdotcom
is this what heaven looks like
when people who aren’t even in your convo interrupt you
Anonymous said: You're soo fat though... How did you get her? She can do way better tbh.
I wonder if it keeps you up at night that I can do this good and you still go to bed alone.
Maybe if you do the ice bucket challenge, it’ll cool that burn.
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
me 11:59 September 30th
me 12:00 October 1st